The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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