Nicole vs. Life
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
