The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
