ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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