I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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