i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
