I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
