i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
