I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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