Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
