We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
