Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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