god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
