Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
