Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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