her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize