We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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