Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
