I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
