:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
