I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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