He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
