it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
