ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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