I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.