I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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