in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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