If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
