I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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