Pappa wants mamma naked
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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