i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
