I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
