quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
