we have pet lesbian snakes
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
