i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
