i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize