my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
