It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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