can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
