why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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