What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
