okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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