through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
