she woke up with a sticky ear
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That accounts for only three of the penises
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
