how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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