I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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