You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
