Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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