R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
