The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
