Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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