Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
