i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
