He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
