Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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