is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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