yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
