why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
