she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He did a backflip because drugs
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
