I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it's like heaven, but drunker
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
