He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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